“Talking about long-term care needs with an elderly parent or other loved one can be a difficult thing. You may not know exactly how to approach it without coming off as rude or disingenuous. However, when it comes to a loved one’s health, it is important to cast aside how you feel to ensure that they can live safely and happily later in life. It is especially important to have this conversation before a problem occurs, not after.” Joe Gilmore, Landmark Senior Living
In this article, Joe Gilmore touches on a very sensitive subject: Approaching aging loved ones with the idea that it may be time to plan for the day that they might need to exchange some level of independence for extra help in taking care of themselves. It’s especially tricky to suggest that it might be time to change living situations, such as moving into assisted living or even enlisting the help of a caregiver.
Gilmore provides excellent tips for handling this all-important first conversation, usually between adult children and there parents, and often after one parent has passed away. The surviving parent may cling to a home that he or she can no longer manage or maintain, because of an emotional attachment to the past.
Tips for the Talk
• Decide how you are going to do it and who’s going to be there. Sometimes a one-on-one talk is best; however, if you need someone to back up your points or provide another point of view, it may be a good idea to get other family members involved.
• Go over which talking points you will speak on before approaching your loved one, and set up a time and place to talk.
• Express each idea as an opinion of yours rather than a need for them. For example, choosing phrases like “I think” or “I need” rather than “you should” or “you need” are good ways to avoid conflict.
• Remind your loved one that everyone is there because they care and want to help keep them safe.
• Stay calm. Don’t raise your voice, speak over your loved one, or encourage any hostility during this discussion, as it will only make the situation worse.
• If your loved one immediately dismisses the idea of leaving their home, it may be best to drop the issue for the moment and bring it back up at another time.
Read the entire article by Joe Gilmore here.
Sue Redding is especially qualified to help you plan transitions that you can discuss with loved ones when the time comes. For more information on this subject, contact Sue at:
Picture this: you’re ready to sell your home so that you can move to a smaller condo close to family. You contact Sue Redding, a Real Estate professional who has earned her Seniors Real Estate Specialist® Designation, because you know that means she has the knowledge, tools, and resources necessary to your move a smooth one. However, when she gets to your house to help with staging, you’re overwhelmed with the amount of items cluttering your home. Just like that, what you thought would be a smooth process has now become a lot more difficult. You start thinking, “Where is all this stuff going to go? This will never fit in a smaller home, let alone a smaller condo.”
Tips to help you downsize
Trust your SRES® professional to know exactly what to do, with the least amount of frustration and stress. Helping you downsize and get rid of some bigger items can be a lot easier than you think. Here are some tips she is likely to suggest to help simplify the process.
Stay on task and on schedule
When you begin thinking about downsizing, it’s important to to stay on task and adhere to a specific timeline or check list. It’s easy to procrastinate and wait until the last minute to worry about where all that stuff is going to go once moving day comes. However, the longer you put it off, the more stressful things can get.
Plan for the new space
To begin, Sue will inspire you to plan ahead by helping you figure out how much space will be available in your new home. She will ask to see a floor plan of your new home, if you have it, because an idea of how much space you will have can help narrow down which items will make the move with you.
Use a tagging system to categorize items
From there, Sue will work with you to separate and tag the items that will stay behind into different categories. What items can be donated? What items will be sold? What items can go to children or other family members? Creating a tagged system like this can streamline the downsizing process and will help keep you organized.
Empathy and Sensitivity
Even as she is helping you figure out which items will go where, your SRES® professional will remain empathetic and sensitive to your feelings. She knows that many of us attach memories to our belongings, making it hard for us to say goodbye. What might look to an untrained eye like a candidate for a donation to a thrift store, may have sentimental value to you. She will keep your feelings in mind as she helps you make the tough decisions.
Help in get belongings where they need to go
Once you have finished deciding on where everything will go, it’s time to get everything to its respective place or new owner. You may have family members or friends nearby that will be willing to assist with getting these items where they need to go, but in the case that you do not, she will discuss your options, including helping you hire a downsizing professional or moving company to take on the burden of transporting everything. As an SRES®Member she has access to different business partners, such as Everything but the House, that will do just that, creating a stress free move for all involved.
As space clears up in your home, and moving day approaches, you’ll be thankful that you had an SRES®agent like Sue Redding to help you navigate through the downsizing process.
Seniors are a growing and underserved group. By 2030, 37 percent of the U.S. population will be age 65 or older, up from about 34 percent in 2018. What’s more, between now and 2050, the 85-plus population is projected to triple while the population younger than age 65 will increase by only 12 percent, according to AARP’s Public Policy Institute. The bottom line: When a senior is ready to transition to new home assure you work with a SRES® Professional, we strive to make this relocation a stress-free time for you and your family.